Look Mommy, a girl with a penis!

So D. drew a picture on the floor (point of pride here: yes, he's allowed to draw on the floor). "Look Mommy, a girl with a penis!" Of course, it looked pretty much the same as all the people he draws- a big round head with a lot of sticks coming out. 

So I said "what a funny girl!"

hope that was a good response. 

This is no different than any other preschool experimenting and wondering about reality, i think and hope but I worry because its an ongoing preoccuppaiton. 

Background because this is my first post: My son is 4 and for a few months he's been wanting to wear a makeshift dress, be princess Elsa, and occasionally insist that he has a vagina.  

No transtheory bullshit comments will be published. 

Comments

  1. chin up - your son is a gender non conformist and there is nothing wrong with that. what is very wrong, is the current social contagion and willingness to hurt and maim children in order to make them appear more conforming to the expectations society imposes upon them according to their sex - to express a more heteronormative gender in order to fit in. there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a boy who likes sparkly stuff. there is something terribly wrong about a social and medical phenomena that encourages children like your son to believe there is something wrong with his body because of the way he chooses to play and express himself. its cruel to let children believe they are something they are not. whoever is telling him he must be a girl to like the things he likes, needs to be educated - his body is perfect and healthy and he should be loved for who he is and let be.

    i was born in the 60's. i grew up with a little boy just like yours. my godmothers son. we had playdates often while our mums worked opposite nursing shifts and took turns with childcare. we would swap toys. he had older brothers, just like me, but the difference was, i wasnt allowed to play with my brothers toys.. and so we spent many happy hours together swapping toys. my mum used to get me to pack a box of my toys for him to play with when i went to his house because 'he didnt have any sisters'. seemed pretty reasonable to me.. i knew he liked dolls and dress-up so thats what i'd pack. he particularly loved a frilly nylon dress id worn in a kindergarten play about fairies and i dont remember thinking anything of it, though i must have been aware he was a bit different to my brothers as i remember it all so clearly and we were very young - pre school. i can still remember very clearly his soft, camp voice and his propensity for play i sometimes thought soppy and girly...! he would skip around the garden in my fairy dress picking flowers for his mum while i raided the lost-in-space action figures and sent them flying down the stairs on home made parachutes. he told me he wanted a pink frilly dress for his 5th birthday. he told me many times he wanted to be a girl. he got the pink frilly dress but no one ever told him he could be a girl. we all came to his 5th birthday party including all our older brothers. no one batted an eyelid and he was happy as larry in his new dress.. he was a little bit different but he was just him. it was just the way he was. no one , apparently, thought anything of it, but you know people weren't stupid. it wasnt ignorance. no one, but no one thought he was a girl and we all loved him because he was a lovely, kind, sweet, little boy you know? his parents just let him get on with it and i dont remember anyone ever making a big old fuss about it.. gender non conforming boys and girls werent even that unusual there was usually one or two children in every class who didnt conform to sex stereotypes.. ..anyway, to cut a long story short, this boy is now a man in his 50's a completely ordinary, happily married, gay man. the effeminacy seemed to melt away as he grew , he has no dysphoria or internalised homophobia and is a fully functional adult. though none of us were surprised when he came out as gay, in my experience, not even that is a given. pre school children have no concept of sexuality, so i would stick to answering questions age-appropriately and with scrupulous honesty. wait for questions. do not project onto him and refuse to allow others to do so . protect him from people who have swallowed the trans kool-aid. leave him be. let him be a happy little boy in his own skin and let him play however he likes. my youngest was a tortoise for AGES. be patient. xx

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    1. thanks.I love hearing people's personal experiences

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