my son wants to be a girl

I had stopped blogging for a while, because the status quo as I last described it hasn't changed much. However, I decided that it is just to important to stop. The trigger for me to return to blogging about my son, and how he resolves his gender dissatisfaction, was a new book that came out, called growing with my child, or some such, by Mimi Lemay. I didn't even read the book, just and excerpt, but I sure debated about it on facebook. It seems that books or articles such as these are coming out these days a dime a dozen; and they all sing the same tune: A child who wants to be the opposite sex actually is the opposite sex, and your only choice is to affirm that or he'll die by suicide. Parents need to hear another tune. I'm not a great writer but perhaps I have what to offer them. And thats why I am returning to blogging. My son is 7. There is a long way to go to know how he will turn out as an adult. I don't know how well my uncharted path will help him or...

(This is in reaction to a comment I received online). A very common response to any discussion of gender non conforming kids is that that theyre going to commit suicide. From someone who doesn't know me, doesn't know my son. It's a way of pushing your point of view down someone's throat without having to actually discuss the issues. You better accept what I say because if not, your kid is going to die. Ugh. Not only doesn't my son have gender dysphoria, he doesn't have any sort of dysphoria at all. He's actually a generally happy child, enthusiastic about a lot of things. He has a struggle to deal with in life, that of things he loves, certain ways of being in the world  being off limits to him by society due to his sex. It's important but it is by far not the only thing going on in his life; not even the foremost. Secondly; I had gender dysphoria, and I'm still here. but more on that another time.

I've come to the conclusion that I have to be the one to expose my son  to the transgender concept I just have no clue when and how. He's definitely too young now but how will I know when he isn't? And what if I miss and I do it too soon? It has to be me and not society; and at the age when I have the ability to inoculate him somewhat against the pro trans propaganda binge that I've heard some young teens go through. It has to be me because I need to continue be a trustworthy source of information for him. My parents didn't talk to me about sex and lo and behold; when the time came I didn't talk to them. I suppose when he's old enough to have an intelligent discussion about sexuality? (He isn't now; I've tried and he doesn't get it).  Or is that too late? One thing I know is that its important not to talk about it with disdain. That would just close off communication. Actually its important for me to get rid of the disdain altogether at any...

Dilemmas: Do I encourage him to flaunt social standards at school, or to abide by them? This ridiculous article just came out, about a 9 year old being bullied for being "gay." the mother supposedly accepted his "sexual orientation." You know I don't buy that at age 9. and I was right. Well upon reading the article further; it seems that the kid wanted to wear nailpolish to school. (something I wasn't allowed to do as a 9 year old girl myself, btw). My question is who convinced him that fingernails are a sexual orientation? Seems like both the school and the Mom. Whatever the kid was bullied to death and I'm terrified of that happening to my son. Perhaps I am making a mountain out of a molehill? We went to the public pool the other day; and my kids were climbing on some childrens' play structures- slides and swings- on the side. My kids are great climbers. A 7 year old boy suddenly said "Are you a boy or a girl?" "I'...

I Havent posted a while because the status quo hasnt changed much. D. won't do any activities associated with girls at school but will play Elsa and other princesses at home. His drawing skills have developed and he's channelling much of his girl interests into drawing. He draws pages and pages of princesses with big hair and big dresses. He plays both with both boys andgirls. His other favorite activities are climbing which he is really quite good at. He can do things that make me hold my breath. He likes building with the blocks, alternately building castles (for the princesses of course) and homes for animals. And oh yeah last but not least. He's played that his little brother was a girl too but I drew the line at that. Pretty soon some trans theorist will claim that a 4.5 year old child innately knows not only his own gender but his baby brothers. And I still have not found an acceptable outlet for for his longing to be beautiful. I showed him male sufi dervishess...

This happened a while ago, but I've been too busy to blog about it. I went to pick up D. from the previously mentioned birthday party. A group of moms  were chatting at the front door, with the host, a single dad (its a joint custdy arrangement). They were all dressed rather nicely- coincidence? and I felt rather dowdy. The single dad, of course, being male, was under no such pressure and was wearing regular dungarees. See my post below about beauty. But I digress. The point is not the clothes but the conversation. Conversation about clothes. Same thing that I complain about- nothing nice for boys. all boring grays and dark blues. And how ridiculous that even toys like legos come in separate colors for boys and girls. And all of a sudden John, the clearly masculine dad, is saying "when I was a boy I loved dresses... I used to always wish I could wear a skirt... I waited all year for Purim so I could dress up in a skirt...." (purim is sort of ...

D. was invited to a birthday party, by a boy named Rudy, somewhat older than himself- age 6.  As D. was preparing to go, he happened upon the baby playing with an old doll.  The doll had been given to him by an aunt, not so much as a gift but as away of unloading her kids old junk on us. At the time, D. played with it intensely for 2 days and then moved on to other things. But nothing like seeing a sibling play with an old toy, to ignite a dormant interest.  "Mommy, look! I want to play with it! Can I take it to the party?" "I don't think thats a good idea sweetheart. It might get lost." "No it wont, I'll be careful!" I have to admit I wouldn't much notice the difference if that beat up old hand me down doll that the kids rarely play with got lost. But, I was afraid that D. would get laughed at by the 6 year old boy and his friends. Secondarily I was self conscious about what the other parents would think of me.  Then it dawned ...